HOPING TO BE CAUGHT BY ETERNITY

bad day out

2004-09-27T00:21:42Z

so today could have classified as a bad day. and i will explain why. i tried out for the ramettes because i wanted to make a danceteam, and i did horribly at the tryout. i did most of the dance ok and then i just kinda forgot what i was doing and stood there. i couldnt even get back into it because the other girl messed up already. so i asked if there was anyway i could do it again and they said no. and you know me, i cried as always. being sensitive sux. then i got a real bad headache and i wanted to sleep. then the guy almost wouldnt give me a pass to park here for the next 3 days. and not to mention me and emily had to walk sooo far back from the parking lot. i skipped work cuz i didnt feel like going. maybe i wont get in trouble!

and today is one of those days where i miss nick sooo much and all i want to do is be in his arms. but thats pretty hard when he is in florida and isnt coming back.....my life is pathetic, cant u tell, im a complainer.lol

COLLEGE LIFE

2004-09-21T03:32:30Z

So I dont know if anyone noticed but people at URI are not friendly. the girls dont let you be friends with them, it sux. its like im in high school but worse. i hope it gets better. so today was really boring. i had to work twice at the coffee place and it was scary walking home at 9:00 by myself in the dark across campus.

im sad that i didnt make the flava unit, it would have given me something to do on weekdays instaed of sitting around. i need to get active and do something, maybe join an intramural sport or something. and im sad cuz i miss nick a real lot. i just keep thinking about him and it makes me sad. i think im going to visit him for thanksgiving break. i just need to see him. but im just afraid the feeling we have for each other will come back and it will suck all over again. but idk. im confused.

i need feedback...let me know what to do

saturday night

2004-09-19T00:05:02Z

So last night was so much fun, party's here are awesome. And we didnt even have to walk far at all. U just gotta follow some people and you usually find some good parties. Steph came to visit and she had a good time to. We met some people in Bressler and smoked with them. its funny cuz we smoked right outside the building. and we didnt get caught, how crazy is that. loved it

so i didnt make the flava unit, i guess i will just have to tryout next semester. but i dont know what i am goin to do tonight cuz everyone is at home. maybe i will make new friends and find something to do. or hangout with jay. guess we will just find out later

flava unit

2004-09-17T15:22:32Z

So i tried out for the flava unit, good times. It is so fun. its definitely a me thing. I find out at 12 today if i made, wish me luck....

livin the college life

2004-09-10T17:59:47Z

so my first week of college is coming to an end... my thoughts...Incredibly Awesome!. except for intro to philosophy which i dropped and now i need another credit.literally i credit. im only carrying 11 and i need 12. i dont know what to do. i gotta find a class that will let me in.....

so this campus has sooo many pretty girls and guys. im in heaven!! lol. Im goin home this weekend to work and take care of the cats. should be a good time. maybe a little partyin.. Happy birthday chris. ur party is goin to be the shit.

i get picked up at 5 and im givin kate and maybe emily a ride. peace

second day

2004-09-08T01:14:00Z

last night was so much fun, me and the roommate made an alcohol purchase and made good use of it. there are so many people on campus now, its crazy. people were so drunk last night it was funny. i met alot of interesting people last night.

today i missed nick alot, it sux because i havent talked to him in a couple days and i dont know whats going on with him. it sux that i keep thinking about him and wondering if this will all work out, cuz i really want it to. i guess i'll just have to wait until the 30th.

COLLEGE

2004-09-06T18:46:00Z

So this is what college feels like! Im so excited because this year is going to be so fun. there are so many new people that are very cool. We moved in yesterday and hungout and unpacked. then we had a foam party!!!! it was such a good time. whats better than gettin wet and wild with hot college boys!!! lol im lovin it.

i cant wait until nick comes and visits me. i miss him so much but like at the same time i feel bad cuz he told me we were on a break and we would see what will happen when he gets back.

my head hurts already and im wicked tired. lol i dont know how much of the staying up all night and hangin out i can handle if im already like this. i guess we will just have to wait and see.

almost time to move

2004-09-04T23:20:54Z

MOVING INTO COLLEGE TOMORROW!!!! I cant believe the summer is over and i am actually going to college. it seems so unreal. i hope its as fun as im thinking it will be. i hope my roommates are nice to live with and we get along. im gettin up early tomorrow so i can try to get the good bed!!! lol i want the bed by itself so i dont have to worry about the other people.

nick is coming home the 30th of this month for the weekend to see me and take care of some things then he will be deciding if he is going to stay but he said he most likely isnt. his mom doesnt like florida and he misses me alot. i miss him so much and its only been 2weeks. its crazy. i guess thats what love can do to you.miss you baby!!

hopefully i get my internet working and i can update tomorrow about my moving experience.

still missin you

2004-08-29T05:04:06Z

so last night i went to rock n bowl with steph and chris, made me miss nick. talked to him today, still loves me! lol. Hopefully he sees that me going to college wont change anything and he will come back. its only been a week but it feels like forever....

tonight would have or was the best party night. its so nice outside. sux cuz i babysat tonight and i just got home. i was supposed to get home at 10:30. oh well i guess i will just go to sleep early. i gotta work the next week everyday until i move in to college!!!!. and i have to find time to buy my books that are going to cost alot of money. well im gonna go lay down now. have a good night everyone.

college jitters

2004-08-25T23:43:47Z

kate your not the only one with college doubts and fears. I am sooo nervous but at the same time im so excited. and it is kinda nice that we are all going to uri so we can help each other and save each other from boredom. or at least i am depending on u guys for that! lol. I was thinking about college today for a long time because its like a week away and i feel like i had no summer. it wasnt full of partying, hanging out with freinds an nice weather, or at least not as much as i would have hoped. but then again we all worked sooo much this summer, kinda sux but we will make up for it in college.

i wrote this poem, i thought it was pretty good. i bet you can guess who and what it is about....

the vast reaches of the ocean

could not fill the emptyness in my heart

a thousand shining suns could not brighten up my life

the way your smile once did

the beating of a thousand tribal drums would only be a whisper

to the way my heart beats for you

a summer nights rainstorm could not compare

to the amount of tears my heart cries for you

and a thousand kisses would mean nothing

if they werent from YOU

Love you

almost paradise

2004-08-06T00:34:13Z

so the boy of my dreams just got kicked out of his house! and his mom wants to move to Florida now and not wait! can u say that sux. :( He is like the only person i have gotten close to since josh and now it just sux that this is happening. i really hope he can stay around for awhile......

i wanted to go to the club tonight but i would much rather hangout with him tonight if he doesnt want to go. I dont know i guess i will see whats up in like half an hour.

club nite

2004-07-30T01:17:53Z

so i hope we still go to the club... i want this kid nick from my work that i hungout with to go but he is playing bingo right now. He is so cute, we went on a date last nite and it was soo much fun. We went to chalks and played pool and steph and chris met us there to play. he is so easy to talk to.

so u gotta hate the creepy old guys you work with that think your cute and like you. cuz thats always fun! NOT lol.

I dont have anything else to say except i am excited for maine tomorrow and to work cuz i get to see nick if we dont hangout tonight. but hopefully we will. he rides a motorcycle!!!! souped on it

hottie

2004-07-27T01:36:48Z

So the hottest kid works with me now, Im so excited!! he thinks im cute which is even better, gotta love the florida boys!

I have to work everyday this week so i dont loose days when we go to maine on friday for the weekend. im excited to be doing something fun with all my friends cuz we havent hungout all summer together. but its really hard when evryone has two jobs and most of you guys have guys.

so on saturday me and emily saw a dead body!!! how creepy. Providence is the craziest place to be on saturdays, i recommend not going. but the club was pretty fun, except for the nasty old guys that alwasy seem to find us. and the kid who wouldnt let me go dance anywhere but with him.

all in all i had a pretty good weekend. today was boring and tomorrow will probably also be boring so if u have something fun to do let me know.

saturdays..never felt so lonely, wishin you were here...

2004-07-24T18:21:18Z

that song just popped into my head. josh told me albert is coming home today which is cool, i wish he would want to see me.

i hungout with josh last night and we went to see I Robot. it was good, weird but good. i was surprised that we actually hungout cuz lately we havent talked or anything. i havent seen his mom in awhile and she was asleep by the time i got there.

we got the dance recital tape yesterday. i looked dumb. lol.

I think im goin to walmart to get some conditioner with my mom. if anyone wants to do something tonight, let me know!!

another wednesday

2004-07-22T00:19:31Z

had to work today, kinda boring, both of my jobs. at least i am making money. i need to save a lot of money. myrtle beach is going to be expensive and i keep spending money on clothes. im trying to stop.

i got a job on-campus at URI so thats good. i wont have to travel home to work. and i make my own schedule so its even better. im excited about college cuz i am going to meet so many new people.

im bored. this area sux for parties now. at least i never know about them. oh well. i think i will finish my scrapbook, i still have to put my dance recital in. so i have nothin else to say... peace

ghetto

2004-07-19T01:49:38Z

so me, steph and kellianne went to the PROV in providence to try out for this dancing/singing thing. it was the most ghetto thing EVER! lol we had to dance to techno. for like 20 seconds! how are u supposed to show u can dance good in that little time. needless to say it was a waste of time. steph almost got into the modeling thing which was cool and kellianne def. would have made the singing if they actually made people sing instead of taking there names and numbers.

the show yesterday was pretty fun, long but fun. it was nice to finally hangout with emily like we used to. emily said we should go to 6flags and i think so too. i just hope everyone is not too busy to go sometime. cuz i would love it if all the girls went again like last year. no guys!(only cuz i dont have one and i dont want to feel left out! :( lol so just the bunch of us.

well this entry is pretty long so peace out.

it would probably be better if i just died

2004-07-14T02:00:06Z

so it would probably be better for everyone if i just died because then i guess you would all have a reason to say things changed. i feel like i could throw up becasue of how upset i am. and it sux cuz i have noone to talk to. but then according to all of you i did it to myself, IM the one who ditched everyone right? im the one who never called, or hungout with guys all the time. im not the only one who has done this... its too bad your all traeting me like shit for it. so i will just be alone like always exept i dont know how long i will be able to deal with it b4 i do something about it like end it all. but im sure you all wont mind anyway cuz u will be in maine. having a great time talking shit about how much u all hate me. so thanks for 7 years of greatness. i will just remember how much fun we had by looking at my scrapbook of everyone who i cared about and i thought cared about me.

sad

2004-07-13T00:44:44Z

im so sad.....

reading that everyone is going to maine and i guess im not one of them sux. it makes me feel like i have no freinds, but then again maybe i dont. so i guess for the rest of the summer i will just sit here and wonder what happened cuz i sure the hell dont know. my life sux

someone took my ten dollars in tip money today. sux cuz i think i know who did it but i couldnt ask them

i never got to go to new hampshire with you and i thought i was your best friend. i guess things changed, i just didnt know how much.............

sundays are lame

2004-07-11T21:26:21Z

worked today, seemed like forever! it takes an awesome parent to pay $750 for a 4 year old and 5yr olds birthday. crazy.

last night were the fireworks, good times. ghetto of new london! we saw a fight and almost got run over. but all around it was fun. i got to ride in brandons nice car!

this journal entry sux but oh well. i guess i got nothin else to say. peace

being alone sux

2004-07-09T21:33:24Z

so how ironic is it that when i dont have anyone, everyone else does. well in my life it is not that ironic, its the story of it. so im tryin to find something to do tonite, i might go to the movies, but im not sure.

so i def. dont recommend going to babylon unless you want to get drunk cuz it sux, or at least to me it did. there was seriously like 30 people there, maybe not even. but oh well at least i tried another club. it just sux that it seems like steph is the only one who likes to go to them. cuz now i cant go 2nite or 2morrow cuz i have noone to go with.....

oh and i thought it was pretty gay that u put me on a website, i know a website your on... its callled amricas most wanted. they put people who bring guns to school on it, and your right on top under douche bag too.

july

2004-07-08T00:32:21Z

today i worked out for like the first time in forever! and it wasnt even for that long. oh well it still felt kinda good, but im eating food right now it is not helping.

tomorrow we are goin to the club to celebrate elizas birthday last sat. happy birthday!! i know it will be fun. i just gotta check and see if we have to pay! its a new club for us so hopefully it is fun, i also have to find directions.

i wanted to swim today but my pool was too clorinated. pissed me off, i forgot that i got awesome goggles to do laps with. and i figured y drive all the way to the y when i have a pool to do my own laps in, its not as big but it will do.

You know what pisses me off? the days i have off are always the shitty ones. it sux, no beach days for me. but i have saturdays off if anyone wants to do something!!!

well i dont think i have anything else to say.... peace out

4th of july

2004-07-05T02:39:44Z

so last year on the 4th of july, i shared the day with a special someone and we watched the fireworks from a clearing in the woods alone. it was so nice, we didnt really watch all the fireworks but it was still so special. just thinking about it makes me want to cry... or maybe i already have

so being alone this year on a day where it seems like everyone has someone is kinda depressing. i guess i make myself that way cuz i think about how much my life sux and how things are so different.

it especially sucks that i feel like all my freinds dont like me.. i am the only one who doesnt have anyone...i feel alone....im depressed, can u tell

eternal_life17 @ 2004-06-30T20:29:00

2004-07-01T00:26:35Z

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lonely summer nite

2004-07-01T00:20:56Z

so i just realized after reading everyones live journal that none of us ever hangout. that upsets me because its our last summer before college and its like we dont have time for each other. remembering all the stuff we used to do together makes me sad. i miss you guys, i dont know if u feel the same but if u do then lets all get together some time before summer ends.....

i wish everyone was 18 so we could go clubbing. if u are 18 and want to go on thursday give me a call, u know the digits and if u dont they are 486-0201!

something bothered me today... kinda sux... cuz i cant say anything to you

summer time

2004-06-28T23:08:39Z

Crazy days of summer!!! I love it. today was my day off from work, i was excited. I didnt have to wake up early or do anything today. I felt like i wasted the day though cuz i woke up so late. I am goin to chris's house in a little bit to hangout with people. should be fun. I kinda wanted to hangout with baret but i dont know if that will happen cuz he lives so far away. well gotta go